The Circle Of Friends
Like many successful people, I have learnt the importance of a concept called ‘The Circle of Friends’. I have both an inner and outer circle of friends!
Inside the circle I have about four people I can trust and rely on. We have no secrets, and we protect each others interests totally unconditionally. Outside the circle are fair-weather friends and business/personal acquaintances. I keep them close, but not too close where they can cause me harm or grievance. They have never gained my trust and probably never will.
It hasn’t always been this way, I use to be very naive and see the good in everyone. But I learnt the above at a high price. An ex-friend had manipulated me into buying some houses in the UK. He was secretly taking a commission on the properties and he bent the truth regarding its background, the fixtures and fittings and also the reasons for sale. Manipulation is a very bad trait to have and if you spot a manipulator, avoid them at all cost! They are extremely selfish and there is only person in their World; and that person is themselves! If given the chance they will destroy your empire without a second thought.
How to Spot a Manipulator
Manipulative behavior is defined as being self-serving and very controlling. Although the minority of manipulators can be abusive physically, their main tool of control comes in the form of mental manipulation.
They have methods to dig deep inside your heart and mind. They then push the right buttons so that they can bend you to their will and lead you to their ultimate hidden agenda. They very often use guilt or feign helplessness to persuade you to do something for them. They may blame you unfairly, mock you or put you down. He or she may also demonstrate behavior that seems on the surface more positive, like using flattery and charm and professing love and caring, but underneath the surface lays treachery and a will to hurt you if necessary for their own gain.
In my case the manipulator used the trust of friendship to achieve his goal. He gained friendship over many years, and then used this to his own selfish advantage and greed. Needless to say this ex-friend is now a very lonely man. People in the end will see through the charade and see the person for what he/she truly is, and always will be; and that is a coning and unconscious sole.
A Note about People in General
The majority of people in The Rat Race are so fixated on making money and engrossed in their own lives, that nothing else or no one else really matters. They can quite easily smile to your face and give you a warm, friendly and loving hug, whilst at the same time urinate on your leg!
Most people in The Rat Race always want what you have got, and will try to outdo you at every opportunity. They always want bigger houses, faster cars and better designer clothes. Being jealous and materialistic are traits one must possess to be part of The Race and in my opinion is no way to live your life. Take away the material objects from these people and their lives are shallow and empty. The World would be a better place if everyone stored treasure in their hearts and built up a richness of happy memories and experiences. People who appreciate and action these latter values have the true wealth. All you need is love and true friendship (neither of which you can buy with money) and nothing else really matters.
Manipulation, jealousy and greed are all part of the ‘Rat Race’ and why I’m damn happy not to be part of it! I no longer need to associate with these types of people on a personal level, although in business it’s a necessity.
If you have one friend you can call a true friend then you are lucky. I am extremely lucky as I have four, but my areas of work introduce me to more people; it’s the laws of average!
Take the Circle Challenge
Try the following experiment and for the interest of the RRW (Rat Race Winner) community, complete the following poll…
[poll id="2"]
I appreciate this article is very dark, but ask any wise person and they will agree with this post! Seriously review who you call a friend, remember the saying; a problem halved is a problem shared, therefore are your problems your own or half of someone else’s?
Next time a friend asks you to do something or asks for a favor, ask yourself these questions; is it really in your interest? What’s their hidden agenda? What do you loose by saying no?
Trust NO ONE outside of the circle, including family!
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I agree completely.I once got into business with one of my best friends who was also my sisters partner.I later found out he was putting fake receipts into the petty cash tin for his own gain!You can not trust anyone fully until they prove themselves to be worthy of being a close friend within your inner circle.The other lesson learnt ofcourse was never to get into business with friends or family!